Let us face facts: The longer you are in a relationship, the more things you will share, and inadvertently, at times you end up sharing passwords to things like your Netflix account, your ATM pin, your university student number (to check on grades and courses) and even email address.
It may seem super intimate, and some people may have a problem with it, but for the most part, it is the natural progression of any union that is not only long term but heading towards the possibility of marriage. Giving your spouse your information symbolises a deep connection and a deeper level of trust which makes them feel appreciated and accommodated.
But can sharing become scary? Is it ever not a good idea to just offer up passwords to your partner? And what about the ultimate password protected device – your phone? Is that also a part of the deal or are some things too personal for even your spouse to have access to?
While sharing makes daily living convenient, if we take time and assess the situation, we may realise that keeping something just for yourself is not only wise but essential for self-preservation. They say, “the road to hell is usually paved with good intentions.” That means we gave up something out of love and devotion, but it turned around to bite us in the rear when things go sour, and they can go sour quickly.
When relationships are in their honeymoon phase, we pledge our undying love for our partner and promise never to hurt them. But three years, two affairs, one kid and a stiff mortgage later, we cannot stand the sight of them, and in a moment of rage, went online back into their old email, dug out half-nude pictures and posted them on the world wide web. Yup, that is how revenge porn got started. Exes have also used social media passwords to spy on each other, post derogatory comments and even go into their bank accounts and swipe their money. Now, do you think it is still worth it?
If even after all of that, you are still convinced that your partner will never cross those lines, then start out sharing small things and ensure that you have open communication. You can offer up things like your WIFI password, etc. Sounds minor, but it is a foundation that you can build on over time.
And if the person continues to prove themselves trustworthy, you can upgrade to a joint account for the utility bills in which both parties place an agreed-upon amount monthly for all the daily expenses to be taken care of. Ensure that there are boundaries in place and hold them accountable when they mess up to establish that while you have faith, you will not be taken for a fool.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.