You see her at the office, and her quiet confidence and curves intrigue you. You mention to a male co-worker that you like her and want ask her out, and that is when he tells you: “She fine but did you know she got three kids?” You take a long pause to process this.
So, she is a single mother, and you still like her. Her situation, though, means that you have to tread lightly and come correctly because women with children do not have time to play games. If you are looking for a ‘good time Gloria’, she ain’t the one. But if you think you can see a future with a woman of substance, here are a few tips to put you in good standing and keep your foot out of your mouth.
Children come first
First, you need to know that her children will come first. It is only natural, so do not be resentful of it. Why would you want to be with someone who does not make her little ones a priority? If she was a flaky mom, you would be looking at her with side eyes. Appreciate how great a mother she is and love that she is willing to open her heart even wider and make space for you too.
That being said, do not jump in too deep initially or try to become a daddy. The kids already have a father, so they should see you as mommy’s friend and nothing more. You do not need to put a title on who you are. Let their father be their father, and if there is ‘babyfather drama’ stay clear of it.
Let her discipline the kids
Also, if you happen to get an invite over to her home and the children are acting up or misbehaving, let her discipline them. Do not cross that line and administer any spankings or harsh punishment. Even if they are rude to you, you can always choose to get up and leave if you feel she is not putting her feet down enough. If you disagree with her disciplining technique, do not go grabbing a belt to show her how it is done because you are a male and feel you can literally whip everybody into shape.
If she asks you to step in and help, even then you should tread lightly and explain to the children beforehand why there are consequences for their negative behaviour. If her parenting skills concern you, wait until you are alone together. Never attempt to handle the issue yourself without discussing it with her first.
— Written by C.W.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.