Welcome to Drag Airlines flight 003, this is your captain Nigel speaking. Secure ya edges and wigs, this ride is guaranteed to get turbulent.
This is it, BUZZ fam… As Hollywood’s major awards circuit ends, so too, do the curtains call on the last edition of Pass or Praise, for now.
What an incredible journey, guys! *sheds solitary tear of pride*
The 92nd Academy Awards ruled the weekend conversation: from historic firsts to jaw-dropping performances – our favourite celebs served up drop-dead looks and let-it-die disappointments.
Held at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles, I will be the first to acknowledge that many who took the red-carpet listened keenly to their guardian fashion angels!
Well done, I applaud your efforts.
And while this will be hard, admittedly, my fans still need my unfettered, biased takes on the best and worst dressed.
In true BUZZ fashion, it’s Pass or Praise, the Oscars edition. Let’s GO!!
Billie Eilish: PASS
*checks her age*
Okay, I can try you as an adult in the court of fashion. We, the people are outraged!
Billie, I love you, but I’ve had ENOUGH of your cultural appropriation.
Custom Chanel from neck to toe never looked so horrendous.
The cringe is strong with this one. No forgiveness, court is dismissed.
Regina King: PRAISE
Regina, I’ve missed you. *sniffles*
You better🗣️werk dat black don’t crack, Watchmen body, 🗣️mama!!
Serving Nubian queen vibes, in a flowing peach-toned Versace, Regina reminded us that she is NOT to be played with.
If the outfits on Midsommar and RuPaul’s Drag Race had a baby, it would have been this fashion abomination.
Who approved this travesty? I need names and files, stat!
I don’t care WHO thought this was a good idea, it should die – slowly and painfully. Right here.
From the Amish-esque headwear, the Karate Kid-meets-Crouching Tiger suit and the catastrophic shoes; it’s an all-round mess.
Margot Robbie: PASS
No. No to all of it.
This is not what I signed up for, Margot.
I don’t remember couture vintage, mid-1990’s Chanel looking this drab. EVER.
The classic red lipstick is a win, though. To small victories, hun.
Julia Butters: PRAISE
Look at this precious, little fashionista!
Aww, BUZZ fam! *melts into a fuzzy puddle*
Demolishing her red-carpet debut in a frilly pink outfit, custom-made by Christian Siriano, the well-spoken Once Upon a Time in Hollywood child star completed the fashion slay with a bedazzled, spherical purse.
Putting many of you adults to shame, that’s how you do it!
Janelle Monáe: showers of PRAISE!
Excuse me for a moment while I- *faints euphorically*
Make way for the true queen of the universe, thee one, thee only Janelle Monáe.
Rocking a regal silver crystal-covered, hooded Ralph Lauren ensemble, the Make Me Feel songbird was giving the Milky Way a run for her coinz!
“Thou shalt slay thy competitors without mercy“, is the first commandment in the Fashionista Bible, and Janelle, a faithful servant, obeys willingly.
Charlize Theron: PRAISE
Look at my South African goddess!
I’m in my feelings, and I refuse to apologise.
If you need any more reminder that you’re in the presence of royalty, then, this off-the-shoulder corseted black Dior was here to jog your memory.
That dangerous, thigh-high slit along her left leg is confidence personified. Come thru!
Rooney Mara: PASS
Hello, fashion police? I’d like to report a crime.
This lady right here, officer, arrest her.
Is there a support group for disappointed Rooney Mara fans? I’d like to join and volunteer my tears.
Why did you make me do this, Rooney? WHY??!
Not even being one of my faves and being married to Joaquin Phoenix could save you from this drag. And this hurts me more than you will ever know… *sobs regrettably*
Kristen Wiig: ???
I can’t give you a full PASS because I love the design and colour scheme. I can’t give you a full PRAISE because I don’t know what going on at the same time. Is it a dress, a frock, or a bloody flamingo?
I guess we all can’t be happy, Kristen.
Scarlett Johansson: PRAISE
Black Widow came dressed to kill in metallic silver!
The Marriage Story actress took the red carpet in a flowing Oscar de la Renta gown with a liquid skirt and exposed corset. My fashion sense and my eyes are pleased.
Billy Porter: PRAISE
Breaking heteronormativity standards once again is Billy Porter. The world thanks you for your service.
I’m increasingly impressed with the dedication to one-up your looks at every turn.
The Pose actor, embodying lone peacock vibes with gilded feathers and a voluminous skirt by Giles Deacon – silk-screened with images of Kensington Palace.
*cries* Protect Billy at all costs.
Renée Zellweger: PRAISE
So good to have you and your original face back, Renée!
That’s what I call a comeback.
That white one-shoulder sequined, floor-sweeping Armani Prive gown was the PERFECT primer for your Oscar win for Best Actress in Judy.
You see? Less is always more.
Spike Lee: ???
On one hand, you are an iconic black film director paying homage to Lakers great Kobe Bryant.
On the other hand, it did nothing for me.
I can’t quite make up my mind, which is troubling. Not a pass but definitely not a praise either.
Until next time, (hopefully The Met Gala) BUZZ fam!