10 acts of cheating…that aren’t really cheating?

You have to give it up to people for finding ways to circumvent things we do not like traffic tickets, long lines and responsibility.

We are very good at creating narratives to suit our own purpose and one area where this is very evident is when it comes to cheating. Have you ever been in a bar and hear a man ‘under his waters’ explain his philandering actions with some lame excuse that is funny to those listening but which his partner wouldn’t find the least bit amusing?

People and by that I mean both men AND women will justify cheating and excuse the inexcusable because it’s easier to deflect on others.

Here are 10 things cheaters often say:

1. Their partner lives in another country: Okay…and?

2. It was not really ‘sex sex’, they just kissed: For some individuals kissing is even more intimate that actual intercourse. Just ask a sex worker.

3. They did it with their clothes on: Apparently keeping up your clothes makes it less real and personal I guess.

4. It was just a little dry humping: Again rubbing with clothes on is the age-old way of being quasi-stimulated and so it is tolerated. Who knew?

5. They do not sleep out at night: Meaning whatever it is they are out doing, they come home right after and sleep in their own bed.  

6. Their feet never leave the floor: I hear this stems from the days of hostel living when you could not shut the door and your feet had to always be on the floor if you had company over. Obviously people found a way around that easily. 

7. There is an emotional connection but it never got physical: They fail to realise that an emotional connection is even more intense and personal.

8. They do not put labels on their extracurricular activities: No labels, no culpability, right?

9. You do it out of town. Around town there are too many eyes and ears so a weekend getaway means the further away your go, the less guilty you feel.

10. You don’t get caught: Yup, it is only cheating if your partner finds out. Otherwise it’s just innocent fun.