Let’s be honest, sometimes what ruins a relationship is not family or friends, it’s us. We can do bad all by ourselves and we seem to do it with gusto. If we are not careful we become the architects of our own demise by cultivating a mentality of negativity coupled with low self-esteem.
From this, even if we are treated well, we subconsciously do not believe it’s deserved and we sit around waiting for something bad to happen. And if it doesn’t happen, we create it.
Self-sabotage can happen when we have past trauma that fills us with doubt and it eventually filters down into various aspects of our lives. Sometimes you hear people that ‘She/he is too negative’ so they avoid being around that particular person. Ask yourself do I self-sabotage? And if you do, what are some tell-tale signs to look for so you can try to correct it before it is too?
Here are 10 ways see may sabotage our relationships unknowingly:
1. Talk negatively about yourself: Stop, no one wants to hear it.
2. Talk trash about others: Simply put, you sound bitter which is not attractive in the least
3. Nit-pick at your partner: Learn when to back up and let them just breathe
4. Constantly bring up the past: You cannot go back and change it so release it and move on.
5. Tell your mate that they would be better off with someone else: One fine day, they may believe you and cut.
6. Downplay your strengths and highlight flaws: A sure-fire recipe for disaster.
7. Compare yourself to others: The death knell of many a relationship as it is fuelled by insecurity.
8. Compare your partner to past boyfriends/girlfriends: Don’t, just don’t.
9. You stop doing the things that first attracted them to you: It doesn’t have to be sexual, and usually isn’t. But don’t let that spark burn out.
10. Constantly too tired for intimacy: If every night you turn your back to him, one day he is going to turn his back on you – permanently!