Are you emotionally cheating?

Emotional cheating can take many forms and often go unnoticed by the guilty partis. (Photo:

Every evening after work you come home, lock yourself away in your room and spend hours talking to that person who has come to mean so much to you. You share your deepest fears, your wildest fantasies and just your life as it unfolds.

No, this person is not your therapist, it is your ‘friend’ that you started chatting with but who quickly became so indispensable that they occupy your thoughts to the exclusion of your partner who has noticed you distancing yourself more and more. Yes, we can safely say that you are emotionally cheating.

Emotional cheating can lead to distancing between partners due to the commitment made to another person.

Some would tell you that you simply have a close friend on the Internet but the ‘cheating’ part comes in a myriad of ways you may not even realise. If you are telling this person about things that go on in your relationship but you do not similarly open up to your spouse, you are cheating them out of knowing the best part of you. A stranger should not be able to intervene in your relationship as this is unfair to your partner who is already present and invested.

Additionally, if you tell this person you intend to leave your spouse for them and exchange feelings of love and longing to be with them, then yes, you are caught up. Exchanging nudes is a dead giveaway and so is texting them all hours of the day and night to the point that you can barely be apart from your phone. As long as your partner is not blind, they notice.

The most obvious sign however is that you are no longer interested in being intimate with your mate. You do it because they ask and not because you are interested. Your body is there but your mind is far away so there is no real enthusiasm or spark present. It’s like you are doing them a favour or you just want them to rush to get it over with. This is all a part of you no longer making your partner and their needs a priority because you have mentally moved on to someone else, you just may not have consciously realised it as yet.