Artificial ‘O’: Why women fake orgasms

Sadly, many women have never experienced an orgasm.

Jamaican men are truly a wonderful specimen despite some being super macho and a tad bit arrogant. Essentially, they want the same things we want when it comes to the bedroom business, and that is to have a good experience – both giving and receiving pleasure. Having said that many fall short of giving their women that huge parade or fireworks experience that is an orgasm, otherwise known as the ‘big O’. Many try hard, but in some cases, it remains as elusive as finding an honest politician. Hence, in order to reassure their partner and not make them feel bad, some women just fake it.

Painful truth

Yup, it is a tale as old as time and as common as dirt: Woman protecting the egos of fragile men by lying to them. Some women have become such good actresses that they lie for years, so some husbands and boyfriends go to their graves never knowing the truth. But is that fair? Is it being considerate or rather being cowardly? Some men say they would rather be confronted by the painful truth than comforted by lies.

A woman’s body, not just her genitals, are an anatomical wonderland to be explored, worshipped and adored. A woman has to feel like she can trust you and that she is safe and sexy in order for real intimacy to begin. In other words, she has to be comfortable before stimulating her genitals will lead to anything great. Therefore, if that trust and comfort do not exist, she will hold back her true reaction if a man seems preoccupied, frustrated or just overall impatient and hurried.

Come clean

If you want an open and honest relationship, you have to stop with the ‘fakery’ and come clean. As diplomatic and tactful as possible, tell your partner how you are feeling and give him time to process the bomb you just dropped on him. Often, we women talk about our desire to have good sex, but the truth be told, we are never taught how to go about ensuring that it is good. We expect our mate to know our bodies like they know their car manual, but everybody is different so every sweet spot will therefore vary, and it will take time, patience and some skill to get there.

So, how did we get to the lying and faking in the first place? Well, research shows that single women, especially those who are stealing love, have a harder time getting to the promised land because of the time allotted to sex makes it less comfortable and more stressful, none of which inspire that warm fuzzy feeling that leads to that warm fuzzy experience.

It might be hard to do, but come clean with your partner.

We are also less likely to have the ‘big O’ if it is our first time with a new partner, if we are tired, had a stressful day, drunk or made a lifestyle surrounding faking it. If you have been doing the artificial ‘O’ for years, you may have to re-train your mind and subsequently your body to let go of that theatrical performance and just be comfortable trying a new way of life.