D.U.F.F. – Designated Ugly Fat Friend

She may be the wing woman, the one who holds the purses when everyone else goes to the bathroom or even the designated driver when others are too intoxicated to hold their liquor. She is the friend that holds back your hair when you are throwing up or carries extra tampons in case of an emergency. She is always reliable, gives sound advice and there to borrow money from until payday.

She is your ‘ride or die’ in almost every situation and you may call her your bestie, but onlookers who see you out with all of your crew may snicker that she is the DUFF of the group. It may be a mean spirited title to gift someone you call a friend but some women subconsciously keep an individual around who by today’s superficial standards, is not seen as very attractive.

By having a DUFF as a constant companion makes it easier for them to get all the male attention and if truth be told, even makes them feel less insecure.

One should not form friendships out of pity or obligation.

The sad thing about a DUFF is that at times she seems almost desperate to buy friendships or bribe her way into the circle or clique. If she was not always helpful and readily available, would the so-called hot girls even be hanging out with her?

If you are the only one giving…then something is wrong.

One should not form friendships out of pity or obligation, for profit or a hidden agenda. Some members of “the crew” may laugh behind her back like the hypocrites they truly are or they keep her around almost like a cruel joke where everyone gets the punch line but her.

If you are the friend that is constantly left out of the loop, the major planning, the secret-sharing and whose opinion is generally ignored, you may be an unsuspecting DUFF.   

To find out if your situation qualifies as a DUFF, examine the context and content of your substantive relationship. If you are the only one giving and sharing and there is no reciprocal relationship, then something is wrong.

If when they go clothes shopping for a hot party or beach trip, you are never invited along, there is a huge problem and you are only needed to make up numbers or to act as their chauffeur, not only is the friendship not real, so are the people around you.

Real friendship is based on mutual respect and a shared or common interest. If this is not the case, move on and find people who are truly deserving of your friendship.