DNA – Daddy Not Available: When you have to tell a man that the child is not his

Many Jamaican men fear taking care of children that don’t belong to them.

Recently, a story broke about a woman who was racked with so much guilt about her years of infidelity that she finally confessed to her spouse that she did not believe that the children in the union were biologically his. Sure enough her gut instincts were right, and after testing it was revealed that, shockingly, five out of six offsprings were, as we say in Jamaican terms, ‘jacket’.

Mandatory DNA testing

Once again, there was a firestorm of debate and diatribe, and some men, fearing that a similar predicament may actually be in their future, called for the authorities to institute mandatory DNA testing at the same time that babies get registered in the hospital after birth. What they want is for there to be a compulsory DNA test done on newborns before birth fathers have to sign on the baby’s birth certificate.

Some people believe DNA tests should be done right after a baby is born.

Women, on the other hand, are adamant that the government cannot regulate what occurs between a man and a woman and certainly cannot dictate the goings-on in people’s private lives and bedrooms. They insist that it is beyond offensive to use a wide brush to paint every woman as promiscuous simply because of a few highlighted and sensational cases.

Men are fearful

Be that as it may, with roughly a third of all babies tested locally said to be ‘jacket’, there are substantial grounds and reasons for men to be fearful. Women who think they may be guilty need to come up with some sort of a plan as to what they will do, not only if their man demands a test, but if the test results come back negative.

If a woman decides to drop a paternity bombshell, she needs to prepare for any possible outcome.

First things first, if you are going to break the news, do so with family or friends around. Why, you ask? Because there is safety in numbers. You may not want to risk his wrath at the betrayal of it all. If you are not brave enough to go that route or do not want loved ones all up in your business, write him a letter or send him a text explaining the situation. But once again, ensure that when he gets it, he does not have access to you physically.

Dropping the bombshell

Secondly, if you are prepared to drop that bombshell, you best be prepared to also have other living accommodations. It cannot be peace and quiet in that home after you just muddied that water. Have a trusted friend that you can stay with until rational thought and reason returns.

The final critical factor to consider is that you should ideally be independent financially or at least have some funds saved to tide you over, because when a man suspects that he has been ‘played’, in his anger, one of the first things he is liable to do is cut you off financially. So, save up your coins because you are probably going to need every penny of it.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.