After the tears and the separation, we realise that the ending of a relationship is the beginning of a new stage in our lives. A broken heart may feel like it will never mend, but time does heal most wounds. Instead of seeing it as a negative, shift that paradigm to refocus your time and energy on what is going good in your life and continue to build on those things.
The following represent some things you should probably consider doing after a major break-up. Note, everyone and every relationship is different and moving on mentally is an individual process that cannot be rushed.
When the feelings surface (and they will), write it down. Journaling is a good way to gauge where you are on the feelings chart. Writing it all down also gives you some perspective on what triggers these feelings so you know what to avoid.
If you start to feel depressed and you are able to recognise that you are sinking psychologically, make a conscious effort to be around people. Get out of the house, if it is even to just go to the supermarket and walk through the aisle to hear the chatter and the music. It will keep your mind engaged. Do not isolate yourself. If you do it often enough, it will be something that gets you up and going enough morning. Simple, daily tasks matter.
Make a change
This is the period where a lot of women change their hairstyles. Some cut it low or others change the colour. If you are not quite there or feeling brave enough for something drastic, just try a different style, something that you never would have thought about previously. You may surprise yourself when it fits you and you start getting compliments. All of this is nourishment for your self-esteem that needs to be stockpiled again.
Before you even think to mope around the house and get bogged down with memories of everything that went wrong, try clearing your mind of old bitter memories by sweating them out. Exercising is a great way of releasing endorphins that make you feel better. There is nothing like a good sweat session to take your mind off the things you cannot change. What you can change is how svelte you feel, so why not work on the best version of yourself, not for anyone else but you.
Talk to someone
Jamaicans are notorious for believing counselling or therapy is a four-letter word, but it is not. Many people need a little help regulating their thoughts and there is nothing wrong in seeking assistance. In fact, doing it is rather brave as it means that you are ready to put the work in to get back to your happy place, and yes, you deserve to be happy again.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.