We’ve all heard them; if you do this, or try that, then your sex life will be out of this world! And many of us, in our mission to provide our partners with the ultimate bliss, have attempted them. But how many of the things we’ve heard about sex are actually true?
Luckily, I’ve got sexologist, Dr. Karen Carpenter to answer that question. Get ready to throw some of the ‘gospels’ you’ve held onto about sex so dearly out!
Tighter, harder, and deeper does not mean better sex
According to Dr. Carpenter, you’ve been doing it wrong. “One of the biggest myths for men is that the harder and deeper you thrust the more pleasureable the sex is for the woman. That is not true, biologically, and it’s not true by the reporting that most women do,” she said.
Listen up, you might learn a thing or two! “Thrusting is for reproduction. It’s to place the semen closer to the neck of the womb so that the woman can get pregnant. What actually causes the pleasure is the pulling out of, and reinserting, the penis. This causes the head of the penis to make contact with the first third of the vaginal canal and when they come in contact they create fiction,” she said
“If men were more experts at stimulating the first third of the vagina, and the clitoris, women would experience more pleasure,” she added.
Sorry to all the guys who believe their sexual prowess is because of their bigger penis.
“A bigger penis doesn’t mean more pleasure. It may actually mean less comfort, and if you’re having sex with someone whose body is not adaptable to your body, it may actually be very very uncomfortable for the woman,” Dr. Carpenter told BUZZ
Let’s ease off the guys a little, because us ladies have been known to try a few methods to make the vagina tighter. But should you really be going through all of that?
“A tighter vagina doesn’t mean greater pleasure for the man, it can actually mean that the man will come more quickly, which for him will not be his desired effect if he wants to last long, or if he wants to give you more pleasure. The actual grip may be too tight for much friction to take place.
Women and orgasms
Hey again fellas.
You probably heard this one already and maybe ignored it. So I’m going to let the expert explain. “Seven our of ten women do not orgasm through thrusting. They need stimulation of the clitoris either manual or orally in order to achieve an orgasm. This is because the vaginal canal is not where a woman’s pleasure point is, it is the clitoris. So while the man is thrusting there is a need for some stimulation of the clitoris,” she said.
An ejaculation is not an orgasm
Yes you read that right. According to Dr. Carpenter, an orgasm occurs 30 seconds up to a minute before the actual ejaculation.
“The orgasm takes place in the body and mind, and in the emotions. It is the release of chemicals from the brain, and the body experiences spasms. Because the ejaculation and orgasm happen so close together they are often mistaken for the same thing. But if you’ve ever ejaculated during sex, and still feel kinda unfulfilled, it’s probably because you didn’t actually have an orgasm,” she said.