Please complete – The good girlfriend application form

There is no feeling on earth quite like it. That giddy, intense bubbly gut quiver that you get when you meet someone and the attraction is so raw and magnetic that you just cannot help but want that individual to be a part of your life.

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But you may need to slow your roll because before you lock it down. Before you declare that it is cuffing season, you need to do your checks and balances to ensure that the girl you like is worth your time.

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To ensure that you do not wife a ‘yamhead’ or a ‘mud duck’, please ask her to kindly fill out the following good girlfriend application form.

If she starts finding excuses after perusing the details then you know that something is not right and you need to do further investigations and possibly get a background check.

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If she breezes through it with ease, then you may have a bonafide good girl on your hands and you can ride off into the sunset knowing that everything is legit.

Good girlfriend application form

1. State your government name as it appears on your birth certificate, not your Instagram, Twitter or Facebook account. _____________________________________________________________________________

2. Do you possess any fake social media accounts with questionable names such as ‘tight hole Tina’ or ‘Man tekka Michelle”? [yes ]  [no ] 

3. Do you have any aliases used in the juvenile corrections system that the selection committee may not be aware of? [yes] [no]

4. Have you ever been arrested for any crime(s) in the last five years? If yes state the nature of the crime and explain the circumstances.


5. To the best of your recollection, state your ‘body count’ and include one night stands _______________________________________________________________

6. Have you ever ‘smashed’ any of the homies or been accused of being a ‘homie hopper’?  [yes]   [no]

7. Where do you live? With parents [  ] With a roommate [  ] Pay rent [  ]    own home [   ]

8. Are you currently in debt or have credit card debt over one hundred thousand dollars?  [yes ]  [no ]

9. How many nights per week would you say you go out drinking/partying with friends? Once a week [    ] 2-3 times per week [     ]  every night [    ]

10. How would your friends describe your personality?

Over the top [    ]  Laidback [     ] A drama queen [    ] High maintenance [     ]

11. If in a long term relationship, do you maintains independence or expect a man to pay for everything? If yes, reason(s) for your answer. ____________________________________________________________________________

12. Where do you see yourself in five years?