Self love – why we need it

Let’s not waste time with polite salutations, I’m here to keep it absolutely real.

Last month was a pretty miserable one for me.  Just a barrage of responsibilities that seemed to never end  -“Adulting”- as I like to call it.

Bills, meetings, work, personal life….  a life of obligations. Bring on the Peter Pan glitter and sprinkle it all over my body because honestly, I don’t want to grow up.

Image result for bills

I woke up one morning said my positive affirmations and decided that it was gonna be a positively amazing day. I was sure it was going to be…. and then, I looked in the mirror.

Honestly, I am so over brushing my hair. Seriously I have to do it EVERY DAY. Jeez man! My hair is so dry and “ragga-ragga” and resembles “chew up salt fish.”

Positive affirmations stage left, ugly is now in the building and taking full control with every negative self-deprecating thought entering my head. I spray down my hair with some water and draw for the ponytail clip as I say to myself, “yeah man, scrape it back and mek everyone see your big forehead *hiss teeth*”.

I should be doing better than this. I’ve been working in the beauty industry for the past 16 years as a hairstylist, encouraging women to find the right style and products for their hair, and here I am not even listening to my own advice.

Why do I find it so hard to treat myself well? How is it that I can find time for everyone else, but I can’t even find a moment for me? “No man! this can’t work,” I think to myself as my forehead shines back at me.

I take a moment to really think about my self-care routine; my nails, my skin, my hair — all these things girls do…. all these things that I have not done in weeks. All these things that make a woman polished and beautiful.

The pink nail polish on my toes is so chipped that it looks like a rat has nibbled on my toes; my skin screams for exfoliation and my hair…. oh lord my hair! I feel ugly. I feel sad. I feel defeated. 

I do the best I can with my mascara and red lipstick make myself pretty. I walk into work with my usual smile and greet everyone with my chirpy “Good Morning!”

For one to even think that I would be getting down on myself would seem absurd by my outer demeanour, and that’s what we always have to remember … always have a kind word because you never know what someone else is going through.

Luckily for me, it was nothing more serious than a lack of nail polish and not using my tweezer. Still…it had me thinking that I was no better than the troll that lived under the gully bridge. 

After I treat myself to a full fix up (mani-pedi, wash and blow-dry hair, pluck eyebrows, exfoliate skin) I immediately feel like I’m better than the reigning Miss Universe.

Always have a kind word because you never know what someone else is going through.

The whole experience left me thinking about how important self-care is. How my outer appearance affects my frame of mind.

I need to make time for myself. The person who is most important in my life and that I should be paying the most attention to is me. And I need it!

I’m making a vow to start making the investment and taking the time to attend to my needs, because if I am empty, what do I have to give? 

— Written by Traci Stewart