Sometimes I swear some of us women are our own worst enemies. We will be in shape, have a good job, a nice ride and live in a comfortable home, so by all accounts, we have our lives together. However, let a woman in higher heels with a nicer ‘whip’ and long Brazilian hair walk by, and we lose our minds as that green-eyed monster has us feeling insecure once again. Why though?
This is the question posed recently when I heard a woman lament that she did not like the relationship her current boyfriend has with the mother of his child. It’s not that they were fighting, being nasty or vindictive to each other. It was quite the opposite. They got along like a house on fire, and goodie did not like it. She thought they were too close, always texting, laughing and talking, and her insecurity kept flaring like a bad case of eczema.
So, the issue is not that the man has a good relationship with his ex, the real issue is her being uncomfortable with the good relationship that he has with his ex. Logically, she should be overjoyed that there is no ‘baby mama drama’ and that the relationship is smooth sailing. However, she manifests her own immaturity and starts making waves and problems when none exist. Once you have no evidence to say that their relationship is still a sexual one, let it go. Once they do things in the best interest of the child, you should let go and let God.
Why be resentful because people get along? In actuality, her insecurity stems from the fact that she is not the only female in the new beau’s life. His babymother will always be there because the child is the common denominator, and it is driving her crazy because she does not want him to be close to any other female but her. That is beyond ridiculous because most men have mothers, daughters, sisters and nieces around so you will never be the only female in his life and neither should you wish to be.
Each relationship in and of itself is different, and each person has a separate role to play. A man who respects the mother of his child is a good man, and that should not only be admired but applauded. It is when the man ‘dogs’ his babymother and speaks ill of her at every turn that one should be concerned, as a toxic relationship with her is a clear blueprint of what your fate will be should you break up or worse have a child with him down the road
As long you find no nudes of her in his phone and she does not request that he comes over at midnight to ‘fix her plumbing’, let the relationship be and even try and join in. Instead of being hostile to her, be human.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.