Should you discuss your sexual past with your partner?

They say most men cannot handle the fact that their women had lovers before them. Indeed, if they ask how many men have ‘sailed across your ocean’ before them, any number over two, is too many!

Is it that men want to see their partners as chaste, wholesome and near virginal or is it as Jack Nicholson famously said in the movie ‘A Few Good Men’ that they cannot handle the truth?

One would argue that whatever happened before you came along is in the past, should not matter and is really none of your business. There is much merit to this train of thought…except if past relationships produced any little people or produced any pesky little things called STIs. Yea, those factors do matter a lot.

When it comes down to it, your past is just that – YOUR past. It is not about having secrets, it is about a period of time that was your own to explore, experiment and examine the things you enjoyed or disliked.

If we are completely honest, there are some things we will regret and rehashing them for someone else’s ears is an unpleasant situation. And truth be told, your current partner may also find it unpleasant and subconsciously wish that you would had kept it to yourself.

Your current partner may be just as uncomfortable hearing about your sexual past as you are discussing it.

We should weigh the pros and the cons about what to share and how much to share.

In addition to your health status, if you know you have a wandering eye, that should be discussed upfront. A history of cheating is vital information because your partner should know exactly what it is that they signed up for so that there are no nasty surprises down the road. If you shared that you struggled with staying faithful, then they have the option of deciding for themselves if getting into a relationship with you is worth the risk or not. Do not let them be blindsided down the road because you kept things from them that will not only damage the relationship but could possible damage both their trust and self-esteem.

One thing that you should ‘fess up about is how and why your last major relationship ended. Do not sugar-coat it, pass it off as no big deal or throw the other party under the bus. State it, own it and then release it. That’s the only way you will be able to forge a happy and healthy partnership.