Should you give your spouse access to your phone?

Here we go again with this debate about trusting your partner with or allowing them access to your phone. While some see nothing wrong with it, others vehemently say no, as what is theirs is not anyone else’s even if it was a gift from their spouse.

Right to privacy

Ideally, people are supposed to respect their spouse’s right to privacy and believe them when they say that there is nothing on the phone that would cause concern or even a raised eyebrow.

Most people have a suspicious mind due to past failed relationships where infidelity did a number on their ability to trust explicitly. But then, that is their own insecurity at play, and they would be wise to recognise that the issue may lie within them and not their partner. If your partner is not taking calls and heading off out of your earshot to answer them, you probably need to accept that what they tell you is so.

Inappropriate texts

The defensive party may feel that it is their phone and therefore their business, but is that strictly true?  You may selfishly believe that you have the right to keep secrets from your spouse, but any form of deception or secrecy is toxic. The healthiest couples value transparency over personal privacy.

When someone is unusually defensive about accessibility to their phones and unreasonably so, it can be a sign that there are inappropriate texts or conversation contained within, and they know you will be upset if you saw it. Their actions say that they are not giving you full access to themselves and their genuineness is compromised. It may be a hard pill to swallow for some but a necessary one to recognise.

The real rule to live by may not be if your spouse has the right to go through your phone, but actually, if there are things in your phone that may make your spouse look at you differently or feel bad after reading or viewing it.

— Written by C.W.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.