So you want a baby… but your partner does not

Sometimes one partner wants a baby, but the other doesn’t.

In the last two years, things have certainly begun to look up for you. You recently turned 30, got a promotion and collected the keys to your own home. Yup, your life is pretty good right now, and the only thing you really see missing is the pitter-patter of some little feet. You want a baby, and you want one bad.

Solid plan

Sounds good, right? Sounds like a solid plan because you know you would make a great mother. You already have a list of names picked out for either gender, and your mother would be your designated babysitter so that is not an issue. Your only problem is your partner has already indicated that he is not onboard your baby train. In fact, he has no plans to catch baby fever any time soon since he still wants to want to live and just do him.

It is not uncommon for couples to argue about having children.

Emotional deadlock

So, there is an obvious emotional deadlock and nobody is backing down. It has led to a few arguments because neither side is budging, so now the big question is: What are you going to do? Well, what you better not do is hijack a man’s genes and force paternity on him. The idea that he will or may come around after a baby is born and he sees how cute it is, is wrong on so many levels that it is not even funny.

If someone has stated categorically that they do not wish to be a parent, leave them alone. Not wanting to be a parent means that they are cognizant enough to know that they do not want or are not ready to bring a child in the world. That does not mean that they are selfish, it means that they are self-aware enough to know their limitations and are willing to work with them

If your partner doesn’t want to have kids, it might be best to date someone who does.


Therefore, if your partner does not want to be a parent and you do, you need to first find out if this is a temporary feeling or if that the decision is a permanent one. In other words, is it that they do not want kids now but may want one in four or five years or do not want any at all regardless of a time frame or period? If they just want to wait until they are more financially secure or until they feel more emotionally prepared, then you can compromise and wait a while.

If they just do not see themselves changing diapers and making bottles, then you need to find a partner who is on the same page as you. Staying in that childless union will eventually make you bitter and resentful. So, have a talk, and if there is no resolution in sight, you have to walk because you should not live a life of regret. Life is too short for that.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.