So your girl’s best friend is a man …and you are not happy about it

Some men get upset when they find out that their girlfriends have male best friends.

When you met her, she kept talking about her best friend ‘Jules’, and you naturally assumed Jules was short for ‘Julia’ and paid it no mind. Turns out her best friend is actually ‘Julian’, has a 5 o’clock stubble, is 6 feet 3, has a great job, dresses well, works out religiously and has a face that you find on a JC Penny catalogue cover. You are not pleased.

This dude is everywhere; takes her everywhere when you have work or are unavailable; she vents to him about your relationship which seriously upsets you and she goes out more often with him than she does with you. At first, you thought that maybe he was a gay best friend, but then you realise he is a bonafide chick magnet. However, he does not have a girlfriend because he is always with your girl.

So, what exactly are you unhappy about? Well, aside from him spending more time with her than you do, he calls her anytime he feels like, and she will drop whatever she is doing to take his call or hang out with him. It makes you wonder if she subconsciously would prefer him being in your position.

You are also sceptical of his true intention, as for you, he seems so invested that you wonder if he is trying to sabotage your relationship with her so that he can swoop in, save the day and be her ‘Mr Right’.

Many persons insist that they can have platonic friends.

You come from the ideology that men and women cannot just be friends and be so close because as a male, you believe that men do not really want just a friendship. They want more, but when they get that initial resistance from a girl or are immediately ‘friend-zoned’, they hang around and pretend to be friends until they see a moment of weakness or time of vulnerability and then they pounce. And because you feel this way, you will never be comfortable with him hanging around your girl.

When he comes around you watch him like a hawk and try to decipher every sentence or his body language to see if his actions match his words. But all of that intense scrutiny can get tiresome, hence here are a few words of advice to you: instead of watching him, trust your girlfriend. It does not matter if he has ulterior motives or not, it is her actions alone that should concern you, as she is the one that has the commitment to you. As long as she remains your woman, faithful and true, then the actions of others count for nought because her actions should tell you that she only has eyes for you.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.