The benefits of living together before marriage

Despite the naysayers who chimed in with their opinion about your living arrangements, calling it ‘shacking up’ and playing ‘dolly house’, you are, for the most part, happy together and just wish to be left alone. Your girlfriends think you are dumb for moving in with a man because, as they see it, ‘a man is not going to pay for milk when he has the cow for free’. So, they shake their heads, stating that he now has no incentive to ever put a ring on it.  

But when did you ever tell them that the end-all of your living together was a ring? Could it not be that moving in together allows you more time to get to know each other while sharing expenses that you would have had anyways? Can they not see that sometimes being without a big ceremony has some pluses?

One of the main advantages is that you will learn the habits of someone else on a daily basis because ‘see me and come live with me’ are two different things. Old-time people have that one on lock with its accuracy. You never truly see all sides to someone until you must share space with them. That shared space with chores, responsibilities and bills can make or break a relationship easy. By living together, you will know beforehand what works for you, what you can compromise on and where you draw the line.

Another biggie is that now that you are doing the ‘horizontal hockey’ all the time without having to sneak around in your parents’ downstairs bedroom when they are sleeping, you have more time to explore each other sexually and to gauge if you are truly sexually compatible. You may find out that you are a little on the nymphomaniac side while he is fine with it twice weekly on a Sunday … after church. You may like toys in the bedroom while he may be more traditional. You may want to role play while your mate wants the lights off and do it quietly, roll over and go to sleep.

Another huge merit is that when it comes to finances, you get a first-hand view of your mate’s spending habits. This is priceless information to garner, as on a date they can tell you anything to make themselves look good. But when you are around them, you will see if they are stingy or take one credit card to pay off another. You will also see if they pay their bills on time or chock them one side and pray that the bill fairy will take care of the balance for them. It is very important to learn all of this before you co-mingle your lives and resources, as being with someone that is irresponsible with money, can also ruin you financially.

— Written by C.W.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.