The Hall Pass: Would you give your partner one?

Jack and Melissa have been married for a number of years and the spice in their bedroom has waned as life, two mortgages, three children, four dogs intervened. “Sexy time” is at an all-time low.


Now with Jack’s 45th birthday approaching, he approached his wife with an incredible request that at first made her angry, then stupefied and finally contemplative.

Jack wanted a hall pass.

How many people could dispense a hall pass to their partner without being jealous

Not the kind issued at school to walk down a hall at a particular time of day. No, this is not your garden variety pass, this one comes with ‘special’ privileges.

For the uninitiated, a hall pass is permission given to break a rule or behaviour. The Urban Dictionary goes even further and refers to a hall pass as, an agreement between people in a romantic relationship that one or both of them may have sex with other people.

There was a comedy made a few years ago of the same name where the husband got the green light, but of course, several funny things prevented him from executing his plan.

Now a movie about it is one thing, the reality is usually different. How many people think they could dispense a hall pass to their partner without being jealous or holding it over their heads in perpetuity? And if the pass is executed, can you both move on as if nothing happened?

Sex is a physical activity and taking part in the act should not jeopardise the substantive relationship

The whole concept of a pass was explored in the 90s movie ‘Indecent Proposal’ when an older debonair millionaire propositioned a couple in financial distress for one night with the wife. The payoff? One million dollars.

(Photo: Netflix)

After much consideration they agreed to the hall pass and the sexy wife was whisked off in a private chopper to an undisclosed location while the husband who almost instantly regretted his decision, had to live with the consequences of knowing another man explored the only woman he ever adored.

It may seem like an easy decision to make if we try to rationalise that sex is a physical activity and therefore taking part in the act should not jeopardise the substantive relationship.

Sex is a physical act but it also creates an emotional bond

However, we know that while some can do it without blinking, the majority cannot. Truth be told, men are the ones who generally have a problem with the thought of their woman being involved with someone else. Call it ego, their emotional investment or simply the thought of another man’s phallic instrument exploring her depths, it is enough to send a few to Ward 21!

How then will they be okay with a hall pass?

Yes, sex is an act but it also creates an emotional bond. Therefore some may seek intimacy without a commitment but when one opens these sexual gateways, anything can happen that one did not bargain for.

Plus, a hall pass should be a one-time occurrence but we all know that when one does something enjoyable, usually we want to do it again… and again…

Where do you stand on hall passes in relationships?