Things you want your ex to lose

The relationship has soured and you’re not really in the forgiving mood.

He’s your ex for a reason. Things didn’t work out and unfortunately it also did not end on the best of terms. You have erased most traces of him from your life but you can never remove everything, worse mutual friends keep calling to inform you of all his shenanigans and activities.

It seems as if he has moved on easily to the next girl and is living his best life but if you had the power to, you would probably make him lose a few things along the way.

Imagine hearing your ex lost that beautiful head of hair. Tragic, no?

Talk about poetic justice! What if you had the ability to make him squirm if just for a little bit, what would you like to hear him lose?

1. Hair: If he did not shave it like Michael Jordan but started going bald in patches it would just knock that smug look off his face.

2. Floozy: Yea, if the flavour of the month leaves him that would be a nice bonus.

3. Freedom: Not prison but a few uncomfortable days in jail where he is terrified to drop the soap would make you grin from ear to ear.

We’re not saying we want him to be imprisoned, but we’re not saying we don’t want to see him locked away either.

4. Wealth: No money equals lots of problems.

5. Home: Send him couch-surfing from friend to friend for a while.

6. Penis: Doing a Lorena Bobette sounds great right about now. If you don’t get the reference, Google it.

7. Job: Time to use up your savings, dude.

Hearing he lost his job after discarding you like yesterday’s garbage is just fate at work.

8. Erection: If he was generously sharing his penis with everyone, then the fact that his soldier is no saluting would be hilarious.

9. Looks: Especially if he is the superficial kind.

10. Mind: It may sound a bit extreme but why not?