Things your nosy neighbour always knows

In every community, there is at least one nosy neighbour.

Unless you live in an ultra-posh neighbourhood where people mind their own business and expect you to do the same, chances are you have a neighbour or two who never seem to sleep because they are too busy watching and observing the community goings-on, under the guise that they are doing unofficial ‘neighbourhood watch’ duties.

You know them well. The little old man or woman or the busy body Christian lady who never was married, has no children but a bunch of dogs or stray cats and seems very eccentric. However, if questioned, she can give an accurate report about everything that went on within a two-mile radius even on the streets and avenues they do not venture down. You wonder if given the right tools if they could possibly rule the world, or at least do a better job of spying and gathering data than the army or CIA.

Some people can even see things that miss the camera.

These people have community relations on lock and always seem to know the following:

1.  Who is stealing clothes off people’s lines at nights.

2. The winning cash pot number as they are always dreaming it.

3. Which man in the community move ‘suspect’ or ‘fishy’.

4. Who the single Christian lady’s babyfather.

5. Which yard is the underground massage parlour.

6. Who and who is cheating on their spouses.

7. Who does not pay JPS and has illegal wire connections.

8. Why the Member of Parliament will not fix the potholes on a particular road.

9.  Why no one really buys from the nearest corner shop, even though its location makes it so convenient. 

10. Which men in the area children should not take sweeties, rides or anything from.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.