Let’s talk about sex. That simple enough act that seems to occupy most people’s minds to the point that they wonder if they are a marionette or master at it. It can be fun, exhilarating, passionate, crazy and mind blowing.
It can also be weird, awkward and inadvertently funny at times because of the things people do and say, often without realising that they are thinking aloud. The following represents a few of the dumb things people during sex that they often wish they could take back.
1. “Is it in yet?”: Unless you are a virgin, you probably should not have uttered these words.
2. “I have never seen one like that”: Just how many have you seen and is there a standard ‘look’?
3. “Ok, I’m just gonna put in the head”: The most used line in the yard man ‘teif a piece’ playbook!
4. “My sister has one just like it”: Boss, how do you know what your sister’s own look like? You know what, never mind.
5. “I cannot get pregnant if I stand upside down afterwards”: Thinking like this is how women end up with half a dozen kids!
6. “Yes man, salt water kill sperm so nuh worry”: And just like that here comes baby number seven.
7. “Me lick it pon pawpaw tree so it swell up nice and big!”: Women do the same to their breasts.
8. “You get pon top. If me nuh move that means sey me nuh really cheat”: Justifying almshouse as usual
9. “If you have sex with me when me sleeping, then it nuh really count”: Many men end up in court over that little matter called consent.
10. “You can get sex but no kissing. That’s too intimate.” It is actually the mantra of many prostitutes so who exactly are you sleeping with?