You have been together for a while and the relationship is pretty much now on cruise control with no major issues … except one. Your mate is insistent that you should hand over your phone and they be allowed to go through it.
Now after you regain your bearings, you realise that they were not joking and intend to browse through your personal property.
Naturally, this will be a huge problem as that will not happen in most relationships, and for good reasons. Your phone is not theirs to demand access to whenever they feel like it. Firstly, going through someone’s phone, whether they do it sneakily, or strong-arm them into giving it up, is a huge relationship grenade. They are basically blowing up the sanctity of the union because what it signals is they do not trust you or take you at your word. Best believe, that when people start digging, they will find what they’re looking for, and it will not be easy to handle.
Most people who make such demands have deep-rooted trust issues that generally have nothing to do with what is happening in their present relationship. Chances are that if you ask them to let you do the same thing, which would only be fair, they would object or have an issue with it – the hypocrisy of the situation.
If browsing someone’s phone was not agreed upon at the initial stages of the relationship, then they cannot make it a deal breaker. You have to trust your partner until you have solid evidence or reason not to. Searching through a phone will not bring you peace of mind if the mind is by nature a suspicious one. Instead, examine what is at the root of the emotional vulnerability so that it prevents your mate suffering for your personal insecurity.