It is the age-old scenario: When he first met her at the supermarket, she was wearing baby tees and booty shorts so tight, he could see the keypad of her phone print out through the denim material.
He was in instant lust and thought he had met the woman of his dreams and the future mother of his children. Fast forward to a full-fledged relationship where she has moved in, and unbeknown to him, she came with all of her lotions and potions, hair rollers and face masks, large panties, and the most perplexing thing of all, her housedresses.
You know the housedresses we are referring to, the type our grandmothers used to sweep the yard in back in the day. The kind with the floral pattern so loud that a swarm of bees would constantly be buzzing around the kitchen. Frankly, it is the single most ugly apparel ever made from a man’s point of view.
So, why is the house dress so despised? It is for a variety of reasons, chief among which is that it is a certified mood killer. A man who has been playing Marvin Gaye or Teddy Pendergrass in his car on his way home from a hard day at work has loosened his tie and has images of a Spice like ‘ramping shop’ role play all choreographed in his head. Instead, he gets Madea in her ‘duster’. Naturally, he is no longer in the mood for anything other than a shower and sleep. Yup, it is a bonafide boner killer and that is never good.
For a man, a housedress or duster signifies that you do not care anymore. It is as if you have given up on trying to please your spouse or wore it deliberately to ward off his advances so that he will either stop trying to touch or asking for sex.
Women say they wear it because it is comfortable, but men see it as shapeless and frumpy, and that is the last thing they want to be associated with their life partner. Unfortunately, before some bite the bullet and talk to their spouse about their choice of clothing, they instead seek comfort elsewhere which causes another set of problem.
Women complain at times that it seems that their mate is no longer attracted to them, but if they think about it, they have stopped being the person he was first attracted to and stopped dressing the way they used to.
Men are first and foremost visual creatures. They feast with their eyes, and so women need to ditch the duster, haul off the housedresses and lounge around in some skimpy lingerie. Play on his fantasies a bit with a sexy nurse’s costume, naughty teacher or meeting him at the door in a coat with nothing underneath it but a dog collar. That is guaranteed to put the spark back in the relationship.