What to do if your partner is too messy…

His pants, as well as last night’s dinner plate, is on the floor. The bundle of clothes piled high in the bedroom is almost as high as the mountain in the bathroom, and by now you cannot tell what is dirty and what’s clean. Your kitchen counter was once visible, but under all that dried up food residue, you no longer remember what it looks like. There is no doubt that your mate is a slob and that you have been suffering for years. The question is what you are going to do now that you have decided enough is enough and you are tired of your home resembling a war zone.

As with everything in life, you must learn to communicate, hopefully without letting insults fly. Discuss how you see their lack of consideration for the space you both share and how you would like the chores to be divided going forward. By having a discussion, you are not just yelling that he is messy or lazy, you are sharing a solution.

So, after you have negotiated with your partner, the next step is simple: Allow them to have their own space to do as they feel. There they can be as messy as they want. Usually, this space is in a backroom or far from the eyes of guests or visitors. It is a space in which they can be as ‘creatively chaotic’ as they choose. There is just one catch: The clutter or chaos has a certain limit or expiration date by which they have to clean up or you will. Hence, they can be messy but only for a time. With deadlines set, they will have to take responsibility for their actions without you having to constantly nag them about it.

If you are the neat freak, you must get some perspective or else you will lose your sanity, as well as your relationship. You have got to stop taking your mate’s mess so personal. It is not about you. They were like that long before you ever met, so their attitude to being organised or the lack thereof is not a reflection of you or how much they love and care about you. Also, if it bothers you that much, get someone to come in to help clean or tidy up if you are getting resentful of doing it. Usually, that is a big part of the conflict within the home.

— Written by C.W.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.