When do you introduce your kids to your new partner?

So, you guys have been dating of a while and you realise that you really like him, and he has certain qualities that make him good boyfriend fabric. Your friends met him and approved and even a few of your family members gave you the thumbs up and blurted out that you finally hitched your wagon on to a winning horse.

Never be in a rush to introduce your kids to your new lover.

Things are progressing smoothly, and he seems like Mr Right. But although he has the approval of those in your circle, he has not gotten the approval of the most important people in your life – your children.

Meet and greet

Yes, the seal of approval from those little people mean a lot because many a relationship go south when parents rush in and try to blend families or move in people that their children did not know, like or spend any real quality time with. Though as an adult you do have the final say in your love life, it is ultimately easier when your children are also on board and willingly accept the person you intend to love and maybe later on marry.

So, when is a good time for the meet and greet? First things to clear up is this: Because you are an adult and your hormones are raging, it does not given you the right to parade a bunch of people in and out of children’s lives. If what you want is just a horizontal hook-up, do not bring those individuals around your children. There are plenty of places for that. Having a bunch of people your children refer to as ‘Aunty Sophia’ or ‘Uncle Mikey is not only un-cool but also kind of classless. Keep your ‘sex-capades’ out of sight.

Start off slow

Ensure that the relationship is stable before introducing your new partner to your kids.

Some experts say once you feel like the relationship is a steady, stable one, then you can ease your way into it and do so without making a big deal out of it. If you want a timestamp, go for six months, as that is enough of a window for you to figure out if your significant other is psychotic or not. But when it comes to the introductions, do not put labels on it like “this is my future husband”, “meet your new daddy/mommy” or anything dramatic like that.

There is no need for all of that pressure. Start off slow like a short play date or sporting activity so that way there is no need to make awkward or lengthy conversations. If the child does ask you pointedly if you are seeing the person, do not lie as it can come back to haunt you. If they ask if you like the person, be honest while reassuring them that while you may be making space for someone else in your heart, they are still your number one priority.