When you find condoms in your teenaged son’s drawer…

Some parents are shocked when they find out that their children are sexually active.

You step over the mess of clothes on the floor to pack away some clean ones and see something shiny peeking out. It is a condom packet, the kind you get at the clinic, and you are temporarily stunned because you didn’t even know that your son was doing the ‘horizontal hockey’ already.

Birds and the bees

Wow. Your little boy is not so little anymore as he is now doing grown adult things. You need to process this information and handle it delicately. First of all, if you are confrontational, he is going to tell you that you were snooping and invading his privacy. You will never get him to open up to you, and this is the age when you need him to keep the lines of communication open and honest. 

Now that you know your son is having sex, teach him how to properly use a condom.

Analyse it by taking yourself and your emotion out of the equation. You should be proud that he had the initiative and common sense to go seek out contraceptives on his own. Kudos to him for being proactive with his prophylactics. This proves that he was actually paying attention during the whole ‘birds and the bees’ pep talk when he was a pre-teen.  

Crash course

So, since he has them, you need to ensure then that he is not only using them but using them correctly. While it may be uncomfortable for him, sit him down and give him a starter crash course on all things condom – like not using it with petroleum jelly as that will weaken its strength; to not re-use it after sex; and how to pinch, leave an inch and roll it on. He may be blushing through it all, but still, go get a ripe banana and show him how to get it on correctly. No using of the teeth to tear the packet, no storing in his wallet or leaving out in the sun to compromise its integrity. You must also tell him to always check the manufacturer’s date before purchasing.

Ensure that your son knows that he should always check the expiration date on the condom.

He may feel that was enough embarrassment for one day, but you are not quite done as yet. Now you need to learn who is the object of his affection and invite her over for Sunday dinner to see if she has her head on straight. Some girls are giddy, silly and not ready for intercourse and all that comes along with it. You have to protect your son and his future by ensuring that they are both aware of the serious nature of what they are embarking upon, as sex is not child’s play, though it can sometimes lead to exactly that.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.