Who comes first: the wife or the mother?

Who comes first, your wife or your mother?

You may as well have asked which came first, the chicken or the egg since it may actually be a less divisive question. With this, lines have been drawn in the sand and people on both sides are adamant that they are right. Some say it is to the woman who gave birth to you while others say it is to the woman who made vows to you that the Bible instructs you to cleave to. So who’s right? Well, it depends on your perspective and the situation.

A man, who is independent, happily settled with his wife and children, will reconsider that legally his family unit is his first priority. His mother and siblings would be secondary, hence he makes preparation on his life insurance to cover his primary family first, expecting that his brothers and sisters will step up and shoulder the responsibility for his mother if he passes before her. So that settled everything right? Wrong.

The other school of thought is your mother brought you into the world and should come before anyone as she was there during your formative years. Since the home is seen as the primary agent of socialisation it then stands to reason that mothers come before anyone else in the rationale of some people. Additionally, they share the theory that while we can have more than one spouse, mate or partner, we only get one mother and that is it. Hence, a man can marry more than once but unfortunately when your mother passes, that is it.

So then, who should get the top post in a man’s life? That’s one that will continue to be debated.