Paula* has paid her dues. She sat in on meetings, worked well past 7 PM, bounced ideas off her supervisor, went to school at night, got qualified and finally copped that corner office.
She now wears chic business suits, drives a BMW, has an apartment in New Kingston and gets invited to every high profile corporate event hosted in the business district.
She is fly, fiercely independent, feisty …and lonely as hell. With all of her success, Paula goes home to her expensive Ashley designer sofa, hardwood coffee table and downs a half a tub of Devon House ice cream almost every night with only Lifetime movies to keep her company.
With all the years she dedicated to climbing the corporate ladder, the journey was not without sacrifice as along the way she did not make time to attend concerts, stage shows, art gallery openings, her friends’ birthdays, house warming parties, baby christenings and generally missed out on a lot of social events wherein she may have found herself an eligible man.
Paula’s situation is not unique and tonnes of successful women find themselves single. It is even more critical for some more than others, as a high percentage literally begin hearing their biological clock tick loudly when they enter their 30s. If the old storyline about there being a shortage of good, decent men out there is true, then what are her chances of having a life partner to share her success with? And why do so many career chicks end up by their lonesome?
While there is nothing wrong with standards, they need to be realistic.
Several factors come into play. The first one being, that in seeking a mate, the successful woman tends to have super high standards.
While there is nothing wrong with standards, they need to be realistic. A woman with 2 degrees and a 6 figure salary tends to want a man of the same ilk…while the man of the same ilk does not want a relationship that seems like a competition.
Ironically, the male corporate climber wants the attractive Susie homemaker, the woman who can cook, throw fabulous parties and be the perfect mother to his two-point-five kids. He is not looking for someone who has more board meetings than he does. He ain’t about that life.
Now the successful female on the other hand generally dismisses the blue-collar man. The man who makes his bread with his hands is street smart and competent all in one. He may not make six figures but he usually works for himself and keeps his own hours so he is his own boss. He is the plumber, electrician, electrical installer, roofer, welder etc. He can fix the kitchen sink and cook a great meal afterwards.
Unfortunately, she is not looking in his direction so she has alienated herself from a good portion of the available male population right off the bat.
Another reason why their beds are empty at night is that some successful women come off so strong that they intimidate men and scare them away. A man with a Corolla and a low paying job may think twice before approaching a woman who drives a Porsche or an X6.
He may feel he has nothing to offer her and so he stays in his corner and continues to admire her from afar. While his lack of confidence is not her doing, the way some women talk and their attitude can be a turn-off.
Most men like to chase, hunt or pursue a woman that they have an interest in. They take them out, wine and dine them, buy them flowers or little tokens to show that they are in it to win it.
Now with a super successful woman, these same men may get nervous as they feel that a regular eating spot may not impress the women and a bunch of roses may seem corny to these decision-makers who are used to corporate jets and trips to Cancun.
The career gal has to join the dating pool with an open heart and an even more open mind.
In order to avoid embarrassment when their pockets cannot match up with their promises, they would rather not venture down that path at all. To them, it is about staying in their lane because their credit card limit is, well, limited.
In order to find Mr Right, the career gal has to join the dating pool with an open heart and an even more open mind and not have these crazy checklists of what they want because what they want may not exist.
Remember Barbie already has Ken so instead of searching for the perfect mate, try to find a genuine man, one that is honest and hardworking and who hopefully can throw down in the kitchen as well as the bedroom.
*Name changed on request of subject