She acts up, acts out and acts ridiculously most of the times. The stuff that comes out of her mouth would make a sailor blush and the clothes she sneaks off and wears barely covers her anatomy.
To your chagrin, she has a boyfriend who talks to her disrespectfully and tries to control her every move and though you have both pleaded and threatened her, she is not giving him up. No, you are not in the twilight zone but you are living your worst mother-of-a-teenage-daughter nightmare.
Before you do anything drastic have you ever considered that what she wants is male attention – more precisely, attention from a father figure? Though we women like to ‘Beyonce-fy’ ourselves and claim we run the world, the world is pushing back and reminding us that it does take two rationale and reasonable parents to raise a well-balanced child.
A father becomes her guide for what to expect of men.
Yes, many single mothers do a great job holding the fort down but girls need their fathers as he is the first male who will set the tone for how other males in her life should act.
All the studies point to the same thing: daughters with father in their lives function better.
Girls learn what they live from infancy and as they grow, they form conclusions about what men are like from those males present in their life. A father becomes her guide for what to expect of men and what attitudes and views they will have toward women. Additionally, how he treats her mother will be her template for what her own relationship in the future with a man may be. These life lessons, therefore, are powerful.
He is the first male who will set the tone for how other males in her life should act.
Having a father or a father-figure around has a positive effect on a young girl’s self-esteem because he can equip her with the requisite tools to have the confidence to tackle challenges and set goals. By showing her acceptance and unconditional love, he sets the example or the blueprint she needs for stronger emotional relationships and she will, therefore, be more likely to make good choices in her future romantic partners.
All the studies point to the same thing: daughters with father in their lives function better and even if they made mistakes, their recovery period is shorter.
This is referred to as the ‘Father Effect’ which is the umbrella term for the benefits of a paternal presence. These effects multiply when fathers actively participate in family life with a positive and nurturing presence.
From attending sports events to combing hair to helping with homework – even while teaching her how to change a car tyre – it is the quality of the time spent, more so than the quantity, that daughters absorb and appreciate.