You know you’re old when…

(Photo: Medical News Today)

You can take all the supplements in the world, have the best plastic surgeons, dye your hair every month and become the healthiest of healthy nuts in town; one thing you cannot stop is the aging process.

Of course, if you take good care of yourself you can slow it down, and go around telling people that you’re 21 years-old for ten years. But here’s the truth, unless you have some Benjamin Button genes, you can never stop time from marching on. Old age is that gift we’re all getting, but never asked for.

Instead of dreading aging, embrace, and respect it as another chapter filled with its own unique quirks, kinks, and reality. While some may feel the only thing golden about it is the colour of their morning urine, with the right attitude you can have a chuckle about the most mundane and compelling things in your life as they happen. 

Soinex | Embrace the old age - Geriatric Care - Soinex Adult ...
With the right attitude, you can have a chuckle (Soinex)

So here is a list of things to look forward to laughing about when they occur, just don’t laugh too hard as we don’t want the bottom plate of your dentures to fall out into your soup!

1. You have to decide between going upstairs to your bedroom and making love because you may be too tired to do both.

2.  You see most of your friends’ pictures not on your phone or on Facebook, but on the cover of their obituaries.

3. You forgot to lotion your feet and stay barefoot …and your friend stops by and compliments you on your new alligator footwear!!

4. Getting ‘some action’ today means taking a laxative.

5. “Getting lucky” means you can easily find your car in the parking lot.

6.  ‘Pulling an all-nighter’ means you successfully slept through the night without having frequent bathroom breaks.

Old People Sleeping Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images
This is what an “all-nighter” has become (Photo: iStock)

7. You no longer care where your spouse goes as long as you do not have to go along.

8. A weekend re-run of ‘Good Times’ and ‘All in the Family’ is about all the excitement you can handle.

9. Your doctor tells you to slow down, not the police.

10.  Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face!