You may be a religious zealot if…

We all know at least one. Bible beaters, holier than thou and so godly that you almost want to touch the hem of their garment to see if that ache in your knee will miraculously disappear. Saved, sanctified and water baptised are they to the point that at times logic is thrown out the window as the spirits, voices and everything spiritual takes precedence over what they can actually see, hear and touch. It makes life living among these people challenging to say the least

If the person is a co-worker, it is difficult. If they are your neighbour, you are in for a challenge, as they rarely mind their own business, as your business is their business. If you are in the world but not of the world, take the following test to see how far up River Jordan you actually are and if you still have many rivers to cross.

1. The Lord is always speaking to you. Why you and no one else?

2. You go to church at least five days for the week. One wonders when you find time for housework.

3. You are super conservative. Ankle-length dresses are a wardrobe must-have.

4. You have very little sense of humour when it comes to religion. People asking hypothetical questions results in you giving them the evil eye.

5. You are always inviting people to be get baptised. Like seriously?

6. Every time you get upset, you start speaking in tongues.

7. You do not participate in any activity in the community or at work that you consider ‘worldly’.

8. Because you are single, you consider yourself a ‘Bride of Christ’, and therefore, are not searching for a husband. Good luck with that one.

9. Every time you meet someone new, your first sentence to them is: ‘Have you made it right with the lord?

10. You keep a weekly prayer meeting at your home, even if the noise disturbs other tenants and neighbours. What is a little inconvenience when you are doing the Lord’s work, right?

— Written by C.W.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.